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06.17.08
A Word About Notes
posted by Absinthe | 12:12 AM
Dear PR flacks, marketrons and hypemachiners:
I know that it’s your job to offer me press notes at screenings. Please understand that when I recoil in horror from the sheaf of xeroxes in your outstretched hand, it’s nothing personal. Sure, it may seem like I’m giving you the kind of treatment most people usually reserve for the homeless, lepers or Scientologists. Not true! Or at least not accurate. In this case it’s not your tanned, manicured appendages that offend, but what’s in them.
For the uninitiated, “press notes” are - well, they’re a handout, is what they are, supplemental information about the film in question. Usually there’s a brief, not-too-spoilerish synopsis, cast and crew bios, a few quotes from said cast and crew, and some exuberant ministories about whatever might be deemed exciting about the project (the setting, the production design, the consultants brought in to keep the project “authentic”, the fact that the water a star jumped into was very cold).
All of which, from my perspective, is a complete and total waste of time and effort and paper, since I’m not in the business of reviewing press materials. The only reason I ever look at them is to see if they make any mention of the running time so I can figure out what takeout places will still be open on the way home.
The way I figure it, there’s already a document in existence that should convince me of the artistic necessity of the director’s vision, the passion the lead performers have for the project, and the reasons the DP shouldn’t be busted back to shooting 90210 episodes. This document takes somewhere in the neighborhood of 90 minutes to two hours to review, contains at least a hundred and twenty thousand discrete images synchronized with sound, is the result of months if not years of full-time work by hundreds if not thousands of people, and in some cases cost as much as the GDP of a small country to produce. It is called the movie, and it’s what I came to see. And if you think that the difference between me liking it or hating it is going to be found on a few slices of what was previously doing an okay job of being part of a tree, you are off. the. chain.
PS: Popcorn? Probably as cheap as paper and much more effective.
Popularity: 2% [?]
Topics: The New Math |
June 17, 2008 at 7:49 AM
Another problem is by the very nature of this post, you are drawing attention to the fact you are paying attention to them.
June 17, 2008 at 11:15 AM
I’m acknowledging them in the same way I’d acknowledge scabies, though. No denying their existence, but damn, they’re irritating.
Maybe I should take a more direct approach: every time I get a stack of press notes, I immediately pull out a book of matches and get to burning. News of something like that would probably get around quick.
July 24, 2008 at 2:11 PM
ugh. like a stack of stapled to together scabies.