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12.15.08
Boss Haiku
posted by Absinthe | 12:57 PM
(Being number one in a series of attempts to increase my posting frequency while simultaneously systematically alienating whatever audience I’ve got.)
My love for video games is well-documented. The weeks of my life I’ve spent just trying to get past various boss battles - even thinking about some of them now I get PTSD-worthy shakes - have left a mark on me that I’ve decided to exercise through poetry. Also, I figure coming up with fourteen syllables every Monday can’t be that hard and, come Friday, I won’t be looking at a big donut in the posts-actually-published column.
This isn’t exactly a contest, but some of them may be riddlish. Guesses as to the game and/or identity of the specific boss(es) referenced can go in the comments. If you manage to compose them into haiku I will be awed. If this all strikes you as gibberish, congratulations! You have not wasted your life.
Without further ado:
Beast with hairy backVulnerabilities clear
Why do you not shave
Suck it, Basho!
Popularity: 4% [?]
Topics: Bleep Bleep Bleep |
December 16, 2008 at 7:31 AM
Yes, Surley you are
the hero of time, reborn -
Words of Ganondorf
December 16, 2008 at 12:32 PM
stand in the shadow
the beast is a colossus
the sigil glows too
December 16, 2008 at 2:33 PM
Hirsute though he be
Ganondorf is not the one
Colossi don’t shave
December 16, 2008 at 8:57 PM
So, does that mean Shadow of the Colossus is correct?
December 17, 2008 at 1:00 PM
Absent a particularly compelling deconstruction of the original work, yes.
December 21, 2008 at 12:36 AM
December 28, 2008 at 8:20 AM
I cannot believe
nobody suggests King Hippo.
Uppercut, then jab.
December 30, 2008 at 12:52 PM
I hate to be the one to bring it up, but… you’ve missed two consecutive Mondays. I’m itchin’ for a challenge here, chief.
it looks like a duck
it floats along like a duck
until it eats you
September 9, 2009 at 9:25 AM
Ahaha, I loved the Basho punch