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    12.15.08

    Boss Haiku

    posted by Absinthe | 12:57 PM

    (Being number one in a series of attempts to increase my posting frequency while simultaneously systematically alienating whatever audience I’ve got.)

    My love for video games is well-documented. The weeks of my life I’ve spent just trying to get past various boss battles – even thinking about some of them now I get PTSD-worthy shakes – have left a mark on me that I’ve decided to exercise through poetry. Also, I figure coming up with fourteen syllables every Monday can’t be that hard and, come Friday, I won’t be looking at a big donut in the posts-actually-published column.

    This isn’t exactly a contest, but some of them may be riddlish. Guesses as to the game and/or identity of the specific boss(es) referenced can go in the comments. If you manage to compose them into haiku I will be awed. If this all strikes you as gibberish, congratulations! You have not wasted your life.

    Without further ado:

    Beast with hairy back
    Vulnerabilities clear
    Why do you not shave

     

    Suck it, Basho!

    Popularity: 4% [?]

    Topics: Bleep Bleep Bleep | 9 Comments »

    9 Responses to “Boss Haiku”

    1. Res Ipsa Poker Says:
      December 21, 2008 at 12:36 AM

      links from TechnoratiBoss Haiku- (Being number one in a series of attempts to increase my posting frequency while simultaneously systematically alienating whatever audience I’ve got.) My l…

    2. VinNay Says:
      December 16, 2008 at 7:31 AM

      Yes, Surley you are
      the hero of time, reborn -
      Words of Ganondorf

    3. Nate Says:
      December 16, 2008 at 12:32 PM

      stand in the shadow
      the beast is a colossus
      the sigil glows too

    4. Absinthe Says:
      December 16, 2008 at 2:33 PM

      Hirsute though he be
      Ganondorf is not the one
      Colossi don’t shave

    5. VinNay Says:
      December 16, 2008 at 8:57 PM

      So, does that mean Shadow of the Colossus is correct?

    6. Absinthe Says:
      December 17, 2008 at 1:00 PM

      Absent a particularly compelling deconstruction of the original work, yes.

    7. Chris Hanel Says:
      December 28, 2008 at 8:20 AM

      I cannot believe
      nobody suggests King Hippo.
      Uppercut, then jab.

    8. Nate Says:
      December 30, 2008 at 12:52 PM

      I hate to be the one to bring it up, but… you’ve missed two consecutive Mondays. I’m itchin’ for a challenge here, chief.

      it looks like a duck
      it floats along like a duck
      until it eats you

    9. thekarin Says:
      September 9, 2009 at 9:25 AM

      Ahaha, I loved the Basho punch :)

    Comments